Zexy in Wonderland
by rainbow-productions
Summary: Bonus story of my 'Used to Loneliness', but can be read alone. When a certain pink rabbit starts convincing Zexion that the red-haired hatter isn't what's best for him, what will Zexion do? READ AUTHOR'S NOTE!
1. Chapter 1

Sooo, guess what? :) Bonus story! Alice-in-wonderland themed, although this chapter is just setting that up. There will be either 2 or 3 (maybe 4) chapters in this one, because it's just a little bonus thing, and I just finished the manga 'Alice in the Country of Hearts' and was feeling Alice-in-Wonderland-y. :) I hope you all like it! Again, this particular chapter is only setting up the next.

* * *

"Is 'glad' an emotion?" I ask Demyx, tapping my pen against the paper thoughtfully. "Or is it more a 'feeling'?"

"Glad is like when you find a penny on the ground and you're glad you found it but it's just a penny so you don't actually care, and happy is when-"  
"Could you just answer the question?" I sigh, and he sticks his tongue out.

"No it's not."

I continue writing, trying to ignore Axel's reading over my shoulder. I'm supposed to try to stop snapping at people, and start writing down what I feel and why, to help me get my 'emotions back on track', as my therapist says.

"You forgot something." Axel says suddenly, and I glance over my shoulder at him.

"How would you know?"

"You forgot to mention how _excited_ you are about moving in with your _boyfriend_ and how absolutely _breath-taking_ he is, and how you're _scared_ you won't be able to control yourself, lying in bed next to-"

I take a deep breath, effectively silencing him. My 'relaxation technique' goes one breath, two breaths, then three, and if that doesn't work screw the rest and do whatever the hell I want. I added the last part, of course.

Instead of walking away, however, he throws his arms around my shoulders and knocks the book to the floor. "Oh don't kill me, lord of the diary!"

I roll my eyes at the nickname.

Demyx, Roxas and I have been hanging out at Axel's a lot. He asked me to move in with him yesterday, and we just finished bringing all my stuff here and we're now resting in the kitchen.

When Axel moves away, I begin writing again.

_I'm happy that Axel asked me to move in with him._

_I'm nervous because he's started calling me his boyfriend. I'm happy, too._

I close the book and lock it. It's an actual lock, not those cheap kinds you can break, and I wear the key around my neck. I also gave Roxas the spare key, just in case something happens to my copy, like Axel or Demyx 'happen' to find it somewhere, in which case I would kick their ass.

"There's a fire down at the beach tonight." Roxas says suddenly. "We should go."

Demyx looks excited, but Axel looks at me, waiting for my response. I know if I didn't go, he would stay here with me, and I also know he's obsessed with fire and would want to go. Plus, my therapist said I should start being around people more often. I shrug, and Axel smiles.

"I guess we'll be there, then." He seems happy, which, I guess, makes me happy too.

I'm supposed to stop the flow of negative thoughts in my head that are towards me, or other people, but sometimes, they just happen. For example, I can't stop myself from dreading spending hours around sweaty people around a stupid fire while everyone else gets drunk.

…

Axel is drunk. Roxas is drunk, and Demyx insists he's sober, but I honestly couldn't tell the difference between a half-functioning and full-functioning Dem. While everyone else is either making out in the shadow of the woods, swimming at the beach or just flat-out drunk or stoned, I'm sitting alone at a picnic table, reading.

Someone sits down across from me, but I don't even look up- until they tilt the book up, reading the cover. I look up and meet their eyes; A deep, thoughtful blue. His hair is what surprises me most, almost giving me the impression of a girl. If he weren't shirtless, and in swim-trunks, I'd have assumed him female. Long, fluffy pink hair.

When he speaks, I'm even more startled by the deepness of his voice- and clarity- he's sober. "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself." He smiles, a soft, knowing smile. "And you certainly don't seem the type for this sort of thing."

"Nor do you." I reply. He's astonishing, to be honest, in an odd sort of way. He has this air of intelligence about him. It's captivating. "My boyfriend is, though."

He looks surprised. "Why would you choose to date someone that would drag you around places like this?"

"I came here on my own. He would have stayed home if I hadn't. What are _you_ doing here?"

"I didn't realize there would be a party. I come here for the flowers, usually at night. They're really beautiful at night."

"What flowers grow around here, that haven't been trampled by some moron?"

"I can show you. They're Cymbidiums."

I don't bother to hide my suspicion. "Where?"

"Not far, just a little way into the woods. You could probably still see the fire from there."

I consider. He seems intelligent, and not very dangerous. Though I could be wrong, I do have a cell phone on me. "Alright." I close the book and stand, following him past the fire. Nobody notices, not even Axel.

He leads me further and further away from the party, and I'm about to turn back when he stops, smiling. In front of us, there's flowers everywhere. Different types of bushes and patches along the ground. He follows a careful trail, and I follow him close behind, to the center of the wild garden. If I look up, I can see the full moon. Besides the flowers, trees surround us completely, only the very dim light from the fire can be see in the distance.

"It's beautiful here. Away from everyone, and all of the idiocy of society." He says bitterly. "I come here a lot. To get away."  
"It is beautiful." I state, running my fingers over some petals. They're soft. It smells delightfully sweet here. "I've never seen anything like this."

"Flowers are my specialty; I usually know where to find them, but I just happened upon these while looking for a decent break."  
"You wander around the woods, looking for a break?" I ask, and he nods. "That's... Interesting."  
"It's not any different from surrounding yourself with meaningless words and letters. At least my escapism is physical." He smirks, and I can't help but smile. I'm technically not supposed to stop myself from smiling anymore, but it's hard to remember.

"Would you mind if I came back here sometimes, to read?" I ask, looking at him.

"It's public property."  
"Technically, it is, but I wouldn't want to get in your way."  
"You're welcome here anytime. What's your name?"

"Zexion. And your's?"

"Marluxia." He smiles again. His smile, though captivating, is nothing like Axel's. And his eyes aren't nearly as piercing, or knowing. Suddenly, I get the urge to find Axel and be with him, despite the fact that he's probably too drunk to care if I'm there.

"It was nice to meet you," I state, stepping back. "But I should get back."  
He steps closer, too close, and touches my face. I freeze. "You know, I get the impression that you're trying to change yourself for that guy."

"W- What?" I try to step back again, but his other hand has my wrist and has me pulled closer to him.

"You have the same view on life as I do, I can just tell. If you gave me a shot, I think we would work well together- much better than some stupid teenager, wasting his life by partying."  
I jerk my wrist out of his hand and spin around to leave, but he places a hand firmly on my shoulder.

"Think about it, Zexion. About where you are, and what you're trying to become. Why? For some guy that wouldn't love you if you didn't change?"

Even though I know his words aren't true, they still sting somewhat. I frown, shrugging his hand away. "I'm changing because I love him, he already loves me regardless." That said, I leave, happy when I don't hear footsteps behind me.

When I reach the fire, I find Axel sitting down near the fire, beside Demyx and Roxas and I take a seat next to him. He smiles at me, seeming a lot less... Drunk, than before. "Hey, Zexy. Where'd you go?"

So he did notice. For some reason, that makes me happy. "A guy wanted to show me something. Flowers." I state, and he gives me a look.

"Who? You just wandered off with someone?" Axel's tone is... Not angry, but somewhere close.

"Marluxia, and he didn't seem dangerous."  
"_Marluxia? _Zexy, do you really not know who he is?" I shake my head, surprised. How does Axel know who he is? "He owns a flower shop in town. He's one of the meanest, most unfriendly people I've ever met, and just about everyone here agrees with me."

"Mean and unfriendly doesn't equal dangerous." I state, giving him a look.  
"He bans people from his store if they don't listen to his advice on which flowers to get, Zex." Axel rolls his eyes. "The guy made some girl cry because she wanted roses over tulips. He said she didn't understand the quality of nature, and didn't deserve to be 'blessed' by them."  
My eyes widen in surprise. "He didn't seem that way, he seemed very intelligent."  
Axel just shrugs, turning away. Is he jealous? All I did was talk to the man, I didn't make out with him or anything.

I hesitate, but in a low voice, state, "He looked too feminine to be that mean, actually."

At that, Axel laughs and smiles at me. He _was_ jealous. "You wouldn't expect it, with that pink hair."

I smile back at him. At the fact that he cares about me enough to be jealous, even though that's stupid. What Marluxia said, however, stays on my mind all night. Demyx and Roxas get a taxi home, and Axel has sobered enough to drive by the time we leave. As we drive down the road, I lean my head against the window and close my eyes.

"_Think about it, Zexion. About where you are, and what you're trying to become. Why? For some guy that wouldn't love you if you didn't change?"_

I'm changing because it's what's best for me, right? Not because Axel wouldn't love me. He loved me before, I'm sure he would even if had stayed the way I was before. Still...

"Axel, can I ask you something?"

"No." He replies sarcastically. "Of course. What's up?"

"What if I quit going to therapy?"

"...Why would you quit?"

I shrug. "If I did, would you still want to be with me?"

"Of course." He reaches over, taking my hand in his. "What's this about? Are your parents making you-"  
"No. I'm just not sure I want to keep going."  
"It would be better for you if you did. You seem a lot more open, now."  
"If I went back to the way I was, would you still love me?" I ask quietly, nervously. He squeezes my hand.

"I'll love you no matter who you are or how you act. Zexy, I'm still wondering why someone as smart and gorgeous as you wants to be with me."

I bite my lip to keep from smiling. "...I love you." Stupid Marluxia. I already knew all that, there was no reason for unnecessary doubt.

Axel beams, the way he does every time I say that I love him. "I love you too."

The rest of the ride is a comfortable silence. We get back to Axel's home- now our home- and go to his room. This is my first night staying at his house. He already told me where everything is, how he usually does everything. He told me not to bother changing the way I do things, but I'm still trying to be considerate anyway.

Both of us lay in bed, in boxers, and even though it shouldn't because I'm an 18 year old guy, it makes me nervous to be so close to him wearing so little. We've never done anything, which I'm fine with, but I don't know if Axel is.

He turns onto his side suddenly, facing me. I meet his eyes, and he kisses me on the lips. Then, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close. We just lay there that way, and I fall asleep.

…

I open my eyes and sit up. It takes me a few seconds to realize where I am, and when I remember- and when I notice Axel getting dressed beside the bed- I blush and look away.

The rest of the day is like any other day. Dem stops by for breakfast, but otherwise, me and Axel are alone until about six, when he has to leave for work. (He works at a café.) After he leaves, I brush my hair, and head into town.

It's warm, but growing cooler as the sun sets. I've never really explored the town beyond the library, school and mall. It's not a big town, but there are a few places that have caught my interest. I'm planning on visiting Axel at his work later, if I can find it.

There's not much traffic as I slowly make my way down the street. There's a bank to the right, and beside that, a large window, revealing some gorgeous flowers inside. Roses, actually, and they're beautiful. I cross the street, and look at them through the window. Red, white, even artificially blue roses. Red, however, would be the most suitable if I were to buy some. I wonder, does Axel even like flowers? I'm not sure, but regardless, I'd like to try.

My therapist told me that doing nice things like that for people can make me happier, too, but I doubt it would be the same with anyone else. Just Axel; Roxas is happy whenever he's with Dem, and Demyx is happy all the time, so I'm not sure what would make either of them happy anyway. And there isn't anyone else for me to try with. My friend options are still very limited, not that I mind.

The door opens, one of the bells to alert the store of a customer rings as it does. "Well well," A familiar, deep voice begins. "Off your leash again, are we?"

I glare at the pink-haired man. "I actually was here to buy something, but I'll just find something else."  
"Wait, Zexion- that was uncalled for. I apologize. Come inside?" He motions to the door, and I watch him suspiciously. He doesn't seem the type for apologies, and after last night, I don't trust him. "You were planning on buying those roses, were you not?"

I follow him inside, against my better judgment. "I'd like a dozen of the red ones."  
"Are they for him?" Marluxia asks as he begins filling my order.

"It's none of your business." I reply coldly. "And do you honestly believe that I'd stand here and make small-talk with you?"

"I admit that my actions last night were... Rushed. But I'm much older than you. I've had more life experience, and I know when someone is making a mistake."

"Axel is not a mistake."  
"_Axel_? You're dating that deviant?" He scoffs, wrapping the stems in plastic and carefully tying a white bow around it to make a bouquet. "He's vandalized my shop more times than I can count over the years."  
"He's changed now." I state. Even if he hadn't, who cares? This man deserves it.

"If you say so- but Zexion, did you ever think about what I said?"

"I'm changing myself because it's what's good for me, not because of any one person."  
"Would you still think so if you hadn't met him?"

No. I wouldn't... But he helped me. After I broke down, and told Axel why I was afraid to be with him, he was so... Understanding. He didn't push me away. He just showed me that I was wrong, that he would never leave me, and I believe him. And I love him, I'm changing for him, yes, but for me as well.

"Why do you care? You don't even know me."  
"I know you're not happy with your life. You look bored, Zexion." He states. I throw the money on the counter, and take the flowers from him.

"I'm content with the way things are." I state. Not just used to it, but content. "You're trying to create doubt, so that I'll feel you're the person I'm supposed to be with." His eyes reveal surprise and amusement. "I told you, I read. I've read everything, from fiction to non-fiction, and I've read a dozen books on manipulation."

"To be completely honest, I don't want to manipulate you. I want you to be happy because, for some reason, I like you. If you want to be unhappy, go for it, but otherwise..." He hands me a small business card for floral arrangements. "You have my number."

I leave wordlessly. What is with him? I know what he's doing, and I probably know why, but... I wish I'd told him no yesterday. He's trying to convince me I'm unhappy, when I've done such a good job convincing myself I'm content.

I eventually find Axel's work place. Just an old café. When I go inside, he's waiting tables. I have to admit, he looks... Attractive, wearing his work uniform. Black pants, white button-up shirt, and the stupid green apron to cover it up, but without the apron, I like when he dresses formally.

I find a table and sit down, keeping the roses hidden in the seat beside me. He notices me after only a moment, and he sits down across from me, smiling.

"Hey, Zexy. What's up?"

"Won't you get in trouble for sitting around on the job?" I ask him, half-smiling.

"It's worth it for you." He grins. "Unless you just came here to scold me."

I look away, blushing as I gently lay the roses on the table. "I came here to give you these."

He lights up, reaching across the table and taking my face in his hands. He kisses me softly.

Someone at the counter clears their throat. "Axel, you have a job to do." That must be Axel's boss.

He pulls back and sighs. "You have no idea how much this made my day, Zexy." He says, picking up the roses. "I'm going to keep them in the pantry until I go home, so nothing happens to them."

I look at him curiously. "It's just flowers, it's not a big deal."  
"But it _is_, because they're from you and I love you."  
"I love you too." I reply quietly.

"I'm bringing home Chinese for dinner, by the way." He says as he heads back to the kitchen. "I'll see you in while."

…

_I gave Axel roses today. Red ones, because they match his hair. He was really happy, and probably got himself in trouble for kissing me in the store. I'm happy that he was happy._

_I ran into Marluxia again, and on the way home, I'm pretty sure I saw him on the other side of the street before an annoying delivery truck passed by. After that, if it had been him, he got lost in a crowd of high-schoolers. He makes me angry, and nervous. He also makes me scared. He makes me doubt myself, and doubt Axel._

_I'm trying to decide whether or not I should tell Axel about him, but I don't think I should. I don't want him to worry for nothing._

Possibly the 'deepest' any of my journal entries have gotten. I guess journaling is helping me 'get in touch with my feelings'. I close the book and tuck it underneath the mattress. I know Axel wouldn't actually read it without my permission, but even so, I still feel safer if I hide it.

When he gets home, we sit in the kitchen, silently eating until he reaches over the table and lays his hand on mine. "You know, I'm really glad you're here."

"I've been here almost every day for the past month." I state, looking up at him in surprise.

He smiles. "I mean here, like, living here."

"Oh..."

"It got really lonely without having you here."

"Axel..." I begin. I don't want to keep anything from him, but I'm scared he'll be mad if I tell him about Marluxia. I know he doesn't approve of the man, and certainly wouldn't approve of me spending time around him. "I'm glad to be here." I smile back at him.

Maybe I'll tell him another time.


	2. Chapter 2

I sit up, suddenly feeling cold. What... Where am I? I look around. The moon is full, which is weird, because it was last night too. I'm outside. I was just in bed with Axel, where...? I push myself up off the ground and take in my surroundings.

I'm in front of a hole... This is Axel's yard, why is there a hole here? I don't recall getting dressed either, but I'm in this odd, long-sleeved zip-up jacket. I don't even own something like this. What the hell is going on?

It's nighttime still, so I don't know why I would have come out here. What am I saying? I would have remembered if I'd done so! Something jumps towards me suddenly, and I jump away, startled.

It's only a rabbit, though. A small, _pink_ rabbit. I'd understand if maybe it didn't have fur, but I know for sure that rabbits don't have pink fur. It hops closer, and as it approaches, I realize it's holding something. A rose, a red one, in it's mouth.

It stops before me and I kneel down, slowly reaching towards it. It doesn't even flinch, so I pet it slowly. It drops the rose on the ground before me, and I look at it curiously. It nuzzles my hand. I pick up the rose- as well as the rabbit- and stand.

Suddenly, something sharp cuts into my palm. I drop the rose. One of the thorns cut me. It's not deep, and blood doesn't normally bother me, but for some reason, I begin to feel dizzy. The ground seems to tilt, and the hole in the yard seems to widen. The rabbit jumps out of my arms and into the hole, and when I reach for it I lose my balance- and fall in after it.

The dizziness slowly fades, and as it does, I become more and more alarmed. I still haven't hit the ground yet- I should have a long time ago. The rose- where did it go? It disappeared. That's crazy, things don't just disappear. I continue falling in complete darkness. I see no walls, no ground, all I can do is watch as the hole I fell into slowly grows smaller- until it's gone completely.  
This seems oddly familiar somehow, like a book I've read. But which book? I might need to start making a list of all the books I read, since I can never seem to remember the names. Actually, I'm pretty sure this one was a classic...

Suddenly- though I suppose I should have expected so much- I hit the ground. Not hard, not exactly hit, but sort of like I'm suddenly on the ground instead of falling onto it. I'm even on my feet. I'm in a large, round room, surrounded by mirrors. Only instead of each mirror reflecting me, each mirror reflects me with a different expression. Happy, sad, angry, scared... I'm beginning to get scared, now.

I see a flash of pink, and follow it to the other side of the room. The rabbit darts through a very small hole in the bottom of one of the mirrors. I kneel down and look through; There's a flower garden. Mostly rose-bushes, but flowers as far as I can see. It smells sweet, and wonderful. I can't fit through the hole, though. I can barely reach my hand through.

I stand up and scan the room for a door, but there isn't one. I'm trapped in this room of mirrors, trapped with dozens of versions of myself. Suddenly, one of them waves at me. He's- I'm- it's frowning, and waves me closer. I cautiously approach it.

"Hello, Zexion." It sounds sad, but it's my voice.

The reflection beside it laughs bitterly, and I turn to it in surprise. It looks angry, but it's smirking, like something is funny. "Don't talk to _him_, all he ever does is mope around."

The sad me shrugs, looking at the ground. "Go ahead, find someone better. It's what everyone does, I'll even leave myself to find someone better. Just watch."

The bitter-sounding me laughs again. "If you're looking for information, talk to know-it-all over there," He points across the room and I turn to see a very stoic-looking me staring back at me. "All he cares about is books. It's stupid." I look back at the sad-looking me hesitantly, but the bitter-me just laughs again. Such an angry, bitter, mean sound. "Don't worry about him, you're only hurting yourself."

What an odd thing to say. I cross the room to the stoic-me, and he just nods. "You're wondering where you are, right?" I nod. "Well, you're in your subconscious. This is where you've been keeping your feelings suppressed. See the mirrors over there?" He nods his head to the side, and I follow his aim. A curtain hangs over a mirror, so that I can only see the edges of it. "That's the only you that you haven't faced yet. If you want to get out of here, you can either face it, or eat one of these." He holds out his hand, which contains a few small, white mushrooms. Now I _know_ I've read this in a book. But which one? And why am I _here_?  
"I can't take those from you, you're just a reflection."  
"And yet, I'm not you, am I? If I were just a reflection, I'd simply be a copy of you, but no; I'm a part of you. Now stop wasting my time, and choose, face yourself, or escape to the garden again?" ...Again? I've never been here before.

"What do you mean, 'again'?"

He rolls his eyes, reaches through the mirror, and shoves the mushrooms into my hands before disappearing. I stare at the empty mirror in surprise. Everything else is reflected, but not me. A frightened looking me taps the mirror.

"Don't worry... He just went to read, he'll be back..." He states, sounding nervous. "Are you going to open the curtain? I don't know what's back there, what if it's something bad?"

"It's supposedly a part of me, isn't it? So what could it really be?"

A 'me' beside the frightened one speaks, rolling his eyes. "Hmm, what _aren't_ you facing about yourself? Obviously it can't be _that_, because that isn't at _all_ what you just told yourself." He says sarcastically. I glare at him- uh, me.

This is idiot. I tuck the mushrooms into my pocket, and rip the curtain away, revealing- another me. On his- my knees, covering my ears and shaking. "He doesn't love me." "He'll leave me." "Everyone leaves me," My reflection mutters quietly. "He's right." Who's right? "He's using me." Who... Axel?

I kneel down and tap the glass. My reflection looks up, startled, and stands up, still looking stunned. I stand up as well. "What part of me are you?"

"Doubt." He replies simply, and suddenly, all the windows shatter. Shards of glass fall to the ground, and I back away to the middle of the room. The hole in the mirror grows bigger, and I run for it, crawling through to escape the falling glass.

"Hi!" Someone suddenly _yells_ into my ear. I jump away, bumping into someone else. R- Roxas? Sora? Sora smiles. "I'm so glad to meet you, Rabbit told us you were coming!"

Roxas frowns. "You looked into the mirror, didn't you? That's what he wanted."

"I- Wasn't I supposed to? 'Face myself' or something like that." I ask, looking between the two. They're wearing the same coat-thing that I am.

Sora nods, but Roxas shakes his head.

"That was certainly helpful, thank you." I start to walk away, but Sora grabs my arm.

"Wait, you _were_ supposed to, because that's what Rabbit wanted."

Roxas gives his a look. "No, you weren't, because that's what Rabbit wanted."

"Why would a rabbit care?"

"No _a _rabbit, silly," Sora stills clings to my arm. "_Just_ Rabbit."  
Roxas rolls his eyes at Sora, then looks at me. "Rabbit wants you to doubt yourself." But... That 'me' wasn't even talking about myself, it was talking about Axel, wasn't it?

"So I should avoid Rabbit?"

"Only if you want to see the Mad Hatter."  
"I'm Dum!" Sora says suddenly, smiling.

"No, really?" I reply sarcastically.

Roxas grins, but quickly hides it with a sigh. "He means his name is 'Dum'. I'm Dee."

"Roxas, what are you talking about?"

"Roxas? What's Roxas?" Sora- 'Dum' asks, tugging on my sleeve.

Roxas- I mentally sigh. _Dee _shushes him. "There's no time for questions, you can either stay in the garden with Rabbit, or you can go find Hatter. He's having a tea party- I recommend Hatter."

"I say Rabbit, he's a lot like you."

"Like he used to be." Dee corrects Sora. I can hear them arguing as I walk down the path.

"If he stays in the garden, he'll be like Rabbit."

"That's a bad thing, Dum, a bad thing."

"Rabbit's so cute!"  
"He only looks cute, but his teeth are like razorblades."

After I walk for a while, I'm forced to make a decision. In the middle of a small area, enclosed by rose-bushes aside from the small paths, there are three ways to go. I can go back, I can go deeper into the garden, or I can leave the garden and go into a clearing.

The rabbit suddenly hops out from behind a rose bush- and it speaks. "Hello again," The voice is deep, and extremely familiar. "Have you decided to come with me yet?"

"I don't know what I've decided." I state. "Why did you bring me here?"  
"So you can come to your senses, one way or the other." It comes closer, looking a little less like an actual rabbit. It's on two legs now, still pink, but with bright blue eyes, and a bit bigger then an actual rabbit. "We both know which path the real you would have taken. The easy one; mine."

"What's so easy about it?" I ask, suddenly feeling angry but unsure why. "What's wrong with Hatter?"

"I see you've been listening to Dee, eh?" The rabbit smirks. "It figures, you'd listen to someone so blindly in love with an idiot."  
"Don't talk about Demyx like that!" I snap, and freeze. How would he be talking about Demyx? He wouldn't even know Demyx, because that supposedly isn't Roxas.

The smirk widens. "See? The real you wouldn't have cared, or would have went along with it. Stop pretending to follow the Hatter's path, you know you want to come with me. It's a safer road."

"...Maybe the old me wouldn't have cared, but the old me was a jerk." I state, and turn my back to the rabbit. I leave, taking the path out of the garden and into the clearing. Rabbit doesn't bother to follow me, but it laughs, like it knows something I don't.

I try to ignore it as I begin down this path. I hope I've chosen the right one...

I walk for a long time- a very long time. The sun is already starting to rise, but I'm growing more and more tired. Wherever I am, I must've been here for at least two hours by now. I stifle a yawn, and jump back, startled as a house suddenly appears in front of me. It's small, not tiny, but small, and pale yellow. It's made of brick, and surrounded by a white picket-fence. I cross through the gate and approach the house. I suppose it's here, I might as well find out who lives here.

When I knock on the door, it swings open almost immediately. _Marluxia_? I step back, glaring. He has... rabbit ears... "Marluxia."

"Who? I'm Rabbit, my dear. I'm assuming you're tired, you should come in and rest. Or at least have a drink, I know you must be _dying_ of thirst." As he says this, I either realize how thirsty I am, or he somehow makes me thirstier. "Come inside, you already oh-so-rudely left my garden."

"Is this a dream?" I ask suddenly, and then it hits me. Of course it's a dream, it's stupid of me to think otherwise. Did I really think this has been real the whole time?

Suddenly, I'm met with the ceiling and walls of Axel's room. I sit up, meeting the eyes of a very alarmed-looking Axel.

"What were you dreaming about?" He asks, touching my hand. There's worry in his eyes, I must have been talking out loud.

"I have no idea." I state, rubbing my eyes. "It had to do with a book I've read. I can't remember the name of it."

"Oh..." He drifts off, sounding like he still doesn't believe me.

"Why? Why are you awake?"

"You were talking."

"What did I say?"

"_Marluxia_."

I groan. "The ass was at the flower shop I went to today. I didn't know it was his or I would have found somewhere else."  
"You don't like him?" Axel asks softly. Like him...?

"Absolutely _not_!" I exclaim, looking at him in surprise. "...And it wasn't _that_ kind of dream." I state, crossing my arms.

He seems to relax. "What was the dream about?" He asks, pulling me back down to the pillows. I close my eyes, relaxing with his arms around me.

"To be completely honest, it was really random."

"I figured someone like you would dream in text, since you read so much."  
"...That's not... How it works..."  
"I know." I can hear the grin on his face. "But you always surprise me, Zexy."

…

_I didn't dream it again last night. When I fell asleep, it was dreamless, and I'm glad. If I had to deal with Marluxia again I probably would have been in a worse mood._

_I have no idea what the dream meant, but it seemed to be significant, or else I wouldn't have had one so complex, and that made so much sense without making sense at all._

_I'm annoyed, angry, tired and lonely, because Axel had to go to the dentist with Demyx. Demyx... Is 'a biter', according to Axel._

I close the journal and shove it under the mattress, then go to the living room to watch mindless television. All that ever seems to be on is the news, and some stupid cartoons.

As I watch some dog with magical powers try to save his owner, I begin to doze off.

Suddenly, I'm lying in a bed in a house I've never seen before. I sit up, and realize that I'm wearing the black coat again.

Marluxia-rabbit, who is sitting on the edge of the bed, grins at my surprise. "Good morning, _Zexy_. You know, that sounds an awful lot like-"  
"Shut up!" I jump up out of the bed and begin towards the door. He catches me wrist, and I spin around to hit him but he jumps back.

"You didn't eat the mushrooms, so drink this." He holds out a small, glass vial. I take it from him. Inside is dark red liquid, looking a lot like blood.

"What is it?" I demand, and he shrugs. I pocket the liquid and leave, ignoring his calls as I continue back down the path I'd started last night.

Last night... Oh, yeah. This is a dream. It's not normal for dreams to start back where they left off, right? That means something isn't right with this one.

Something... I continue down the path, until someone calls my name.

"Zex, up here!" It calls. …Demyx? "Look up!" I do, and find Demyx hanging upside-down in a tree. Only this Demyx... Has light blond cat-ears, and a long, fluffy cat-tail. He lets go and lands softly on the ground in front of me. "Why are you in such a hurry? Is Rabbit messing with you again?" What's with all of this 'again' business? I've never been here before last night! "I'll chase him down, that's what cats do, right? Catch rodents. I'm Chesh Ire. Cat." He holds out his hand to shake mine, and cautiously, I take it. He pulls me into a bone-crushing hug, then pulls me along the path towards where I was already heading. "You're going to see Hatter, right? Well, you should be careful, people say he likes to play tricks."

"What do you mean, he plays tricks?" I demand, pulling out of his grasp and slowing to a stop.

"I didn't say, 'be careful, he _plays_ tricks', I said, 'be careful, _people say_ he plays tricks'."

"So.. He doesn't?"

"I'm his best friend, I know everything about him, and no, he doesn't."

"Then what was the point of the warning at all?" I demand angrily, and he pouts.

"I'm trying to help you... But if you're gonna be mean, then you can just go the rest of the way yourself."

"Dem, wait," I call as he begins to fade into nothing. "I'm sorry!"  
He just smiles, and then he's gone. Damn... He was trying to help me, by warning me that 'people say' he likes to play tricks. Was he warning me that some is trying to trick me? That can be summed up into one word; Marluxia.

I frown, but continue walking anyway. I can see a table, very, very far in the distance. Somehow, I know that's where I'm supposed to go.

Something in the trees moves. It's sitting on... A giant mushroom. What the hell..? It's not very big, but it's got long, blue hair. As I move closer, realization hits me.

Siax!


	3. Chapter 3

I awaken with a start. Shit... Every time I sleep, I wake up more tired than before.

I was asleep for half an hour. I read until Axel comes home, and he crashes down onto the couch next to me. I close my book and shove it aside, turning to him. "Did you have fun?" I ask, and he rolls his eyes.

"Demyx bit the dentist- twice, and he has a cavity. They gave him laughing-gas to calm him down so they could look at it, even though I told him that it was a bad idea."  
"What happened?"

"He wouldn't shut up, and he was laughing like crazy. I did warn them, though." He laughs, and I smile in amusement.  
"...I'm glad you're home."  
"Glad to be home." He reaches over and kisses me on the forehead, but before he can pull away I kiss him on the lips. He smirks into the kiss, and pulls me closer to him.

Later, after he's fallen asleep, I try to urge myself to stay awake. I don't want to have the dream again, because I don't want to face Saix, even in a dream. Even so, I can feel myself falling asleep.

And then, I'm face-to-face with Saix. He sits upon the large mushroom, smirking at me.

I glare at him. "What the hell are you doing here?" I demand, taking a step back. "Are you here to tell me to listen to Rabbit?"

"No, worthless piece of shit. I'm here to tell you that Hatter is lying to you." He waves his hand at me in a way to tell me, 'I'm just letting you know'. I glare at him harder.

"You wouldn't help me with anything, and Dem- the cat already told me that people lie about the Hatter."

"Cat is Hatter's best friend, do you really thing he'd try and turn you _against_ the dumbass?"

I just turn away, but he jumps down from the mushroom and grabs my arm tightly. "Let go of me!" I command, jerking away from him. "You can't hurt me here, this is a dream! And even if it wasn't, I'm done letting you hurt me! You turned me into the person I'm trying not to be! You're supposed to be my brother, but instead you're just fucking evil and I hate you!"

He grins. "You think I can't hurt you here?" He grabs my hair and I cry out in pain as he slams me against a tree. I sink to the ground, holding my side. An old, familiar pain shoots through me. My ribs, he's broken them before- it feels the same as it did then. "I'll always be here, always be in your mind, always _controlling_ you."

This is a dream- _my_ dream. He can't decide what happens here, but I can. I pull the mushrooms from my pockets, and hold them out to him. "Rabbit gave these to me... To give to you." I don't know what they do, but they'll probably make him go away. I get the feeling that they'll help me be stronger than him. "He said I'd meet you, but I didn't believe him."

Saix takes the mushrooms, smirking at me. "You're really stupid, if you still trust the Hatter." I watch as he eats them- and his expression slowly turns to one of shock. His body seems to wobble, and everything become uneven- until he shrinks. He's now about the size of my thumb.

I watch him in a sort of shocked amusement as he tries to scream at me- but I can't hear him anymore. He's too small, and unimportant. Especially compared to what I have to do now. I have to find hatter. I turn away and leave, and this time, he's unable to stop me.

I hope he gets eaten by the cat.

The table seems closer now, and I begin running towards it. I can see bright red spikes underneath a large top-hat. I see Cat and Dee sitting at the table with him- with Hatter. Suddenly, I hear a loud crack behind me, like something breaking. I turn around, and I'm faced with a mirror. There's a thin crack, going like lightening down the middle and splitting my reflection in half. I step back as pressure seems to build behind the mirror, and the cracking grows louder- faster. Suddenly, the entire mirror shatters, glass falling in what seems like slow motion. Marluxia is behind the mirror, watching me in amusement. I look up, watching the glass as it falls so slowly... And catch a shard in my hand. In it, I can no longer see my actual reflection, but the reflection of the 'me' I uncovered earlier. The one that represented my doubt. I throw it at Marluxia and spin around, running as the ground behind me begins to shatter as well. I'm drawing closer to the Hatter, but at the same time the ground is falling away into blackness behind me.

I hear Saix' voice, calling me the names I'd grown used to hearing, and Marluxia, telling me that Axel is lying, that he won't be here forever.

As I reach the end of the table, the Hatter turns to me, piercing green eyes wide with surprise as the ground underneath me gives way and I begin to fall. He reaches out, jumping towards me and I reach towards him.

He reaches over the edge of the shattered ground, catching me by the hand and holding tightly. His hat falls away, falling into the large, empty blackness that he's caught be from falling into.

"About time." He smile softly, knowingly. "You're late."

"I'm here, aren't I?" I reply, then out of nowhere, I hear myself saying something. "If you ever leave me, Axel-"  
"I won't." He cuts me off, and I'm glad, because I don't even know what I was about to say. "I promise."

...When I open my eyes, I'm met with Axel's closed ones. He's still asleep, holding me as he does. As the dream settles in my mind, I suddenly feel a lot more... At peace.

_I throw my arms around his neck and hug him, standing on my toes, and the tears I'd been holding back silently pour. The pressure in my head and stomach, and the pain in my throat are gone, and right now being close to him is all that matters. I close my eyes when his hands rest one on my lower back, and the other on the back of my head._

_This is what I was afraid of. This is why I made him leave that day, and why I wouldn't talk to him. Because I knew that at some point, I would end up losing it and falling apart. I haven't let anyone in, in a very, very long time because I haven't had a reason. Now, I have, and I need this, and I need him. If he leaves, if he hates me, I wouldn't go back to the way I was before. I'd actually care, and that scares me more then anything or anyone else ever could, because I didn't even know I could._

"_If you ever leave me, Axel-"  
"I won't." He cuts me off, and I'm glad, because I don't even know what I was about to say. "I promise."_

He promised that he wouldn't ever leave me, but I never really believed it. I'd hoped it was true, and I told myself it was true, but I was always worried about upsetting him and making him angry... But now... I feel like he really wouldn't leave me.

He knows everything about me, and he's still here- still happy that _I'm_ here. And I'm happy, and I love him.

I rest my arm around his waist, and bury my face in his chest. "I love you." I whisper, and I'm met with a soft chuckle.

"I love you too."

* * *

See how awesome I am? I have this weird obsession with shattered mirrors.

If anyone didn't get it, or even cares xD I'm gonna list the metaphoric junk.

1. The mirrors in the room at the start of the dream represented his emotions. The doubt behind the curtain was the doubt he was pretending he didn't feel.

2. The shattering mirrors represented the fact that he was changing, and his 'old self' was breaking apart.

3. The garden vs. the Hatter represented his decision to either return to his old self, the doubt, and listen to Marluxia, or turn away from his old way of life and continue on a better road.

4. Saix shrinking meant Zexion overcame the abuse Saix put him through in my previous story. (the broken-rib part was a part of the previous story, by the way. He was just remembering.)

5. Basically everything had to do with him overcoming the way he was before, and turning into a better person, and the dream was just helping him through it. There's a LOT of metaphorical and symbolic shit everywhere. :) I love it.

Let me know if you liked it, I don't own Kingdom Hearts, all that stuff. 3


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